He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
