I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
He told me they were just razor bumps!
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
