I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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