I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
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He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
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Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
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