Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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