He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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