It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Randomize
