you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize