There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
