Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
