My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I looked at my own cervix.
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I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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