I hope mine doesn't look like that
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Randomize
