He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I'm just crazy horny about you
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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