is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
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