I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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