No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
