youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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