no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Randomize
