Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
