and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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