wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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