i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
