So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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