arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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