I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
