I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
