I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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