VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize