you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
