Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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