oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
