4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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