just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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