One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Best friends brother. Beat that.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
