just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
