You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
