the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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