tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
