very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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