Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Randomize
