they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
