She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
