We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sarcasm needs its own font
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
