You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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