i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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