I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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