that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
