I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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