Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
