garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
COCAINE IS GR8
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
