gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
What a fucking waste of an outfit
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
