I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
