it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
