woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
