i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
i just had sex bonerless
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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