Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Randomize
