she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
