Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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