She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
