One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
