I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Randomize
