some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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