And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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