Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Your dad touched me again.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
