i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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