Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
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