I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
